...a blog by Richard Flowers

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Day 1917: Local SOCA league


It is a good job that we did NOT try to go to MONGO, as it turns out that His Imperial Supremacy Grand Panjandrum HRH Sir Mr the Merciless was not at home.

Instead he is here in Britain, launching his campaign for total conquest the May local elections.

Local Elections OUGHT to be more important to people, because they are for the THINGS that you use MOST OFTEN. (After all, you want to use the PAVEMENT every day, but HOW OFTEN do you want a SMALL WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST????)

Unfortunatlely, people do not seem to see things that way. Because the local council deals with the everyday STUFF (read that as BORING!), then people do not think that they are that important and so do not pay proper attention to them. This means that even if Mr Blair and the Labour get SPIFFLICATED at the local elections they will just laugh it off.

On the other fluffy foot, it also means that people might vote for Mr Balloon just in order to stick one on Mr Blair. This means that he will probably do very well INDEED – and be very pleased with himself – even though he has not got any policies yet. In fact IRONICALLY, if he doesn't do VERY WELL INDEED, then it might look bad for Mr Balloon. Which is VERY confusing.

Meanwhile, I have found out where Mr Blair's stormtroopers went when they stopped hunting me down LIKE A DOG!!! Ahem. They are off playing SOCA.

Appaerntly this is to be like the American FBI and they will investigate X-Files like: do Aliens exist? where is the Loch Ness Monster? and how did Mr Blair make all those loans vanish?

In a funny way, the SOCA team are connected to the problem of local government.

If there is a PROBLEM that is big enough to make the NEWSPAPERS take notice, then it makes the GOVERNMENT in London want to take charge so that they can (if it works) take all the credit and look lovely OR (if it doesn't work – which is, lets face it, rather more LIKELY) then they can LOOK like they are doing something to fix it.

So this SOCA team is NOT really to make organised crime go away (because organised crime has got a bit of a bit bigger budget than Mr Blair's SOCA team) but to make exciting NEWS STORIES that will look good for Mr Blair and take some of the heat off him for the WAVE OF HYSTERICAL CRIME STORIES (copyright all newspages) that newspapers keep printing because they sell lots more papers even though it makes it look like Britain today is at the mercy of crime that is totally out of control rather than Britain today REALLY being one of the safest countries in all the world and in all of history.

Why is this like local governemt? Because big government has taken over all of the EXCITING bits so that they can LOOK like they are fixing the problems (or at least so that they can make it all look as LEAST BAD for them as they can).

On the plus side today, ROBIN HOOD is coming back.

Assuming that Mr Blair's SOCA team doesn't duff him up.

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