Day 2742: Conservatories Ready For Government… the Resignations have begun!

Friday:


Keen to show that Conservatories are just as useless, incompetent or even downright naughty as the Labour, Mr Balloon’s top elected Tory, BoJo the Clown, has accepted the resignation of one of his claque of SO-CALLED “deputies*”.

Again.

Comparing the scene of Mayor BoJo standing SHOULDER-to-SHOULDER with his “vice-mayor” to announce an inquiry with the LONELY figure of Mr Lewis announcing that he was being thrown to the wolves, er, didn’t want to overshadow BoJo’s work, it was clear that someone – Mr Balloon? – had ordered this humiliating about-face. Oh, I’m sorry: BoJo says he was “misled”.

Would that be in the same way that HE misled US by repeating Mr Lewis’s claims, or some entirely other way of being misled?

Perhaps the media will now pay more attention to BoJo’s habit of IGNORING people who ask a lot of questions at Mr Mayor’s Questionable Time… since it’s clear that he really SHOULD have asked a lot of questions before employing Mr Lewis.

I bet that Mr (former) Mayor Ken is VERY UPSET to hear of this calamity engulfing his rival.

“Why couldn’t the self-flanning idiot have imploded three months ago!”

…is something I am SURE Mr Ken would not say!

Does this obvious idiocy on the part of their most visible elected buffoon damage Mr Balloon’s Conservatory BRAND?

Well, it certainly makes a change to see headlines about the Conservatories’ foul-ups pushing new of the Home Office’s latest data disaster well down the news agenda.

This is clearly why Mr Balloon, er, an UNKNOWN PERSON has acted so fast to force BoJo’s humiliating abandonment of his chum. Forget NATURAL JUSTICE, nothing can be allowed to POLLUTE the brand. Unfortunately, such precipitous action DOES pollute the brand! How many people will be left thinking – in the words of Miss Mattie Storin’s media chums from “House of Cards” – the silly so-and-so, he MUST have done it?

BoJo’s error yesterday was not to suspend Mr Lewis immediately pending a proper fair inquiry. His error today was to nuke Mr Lewis completely. And not attending today’s resignation just made BoJo look COWARDLY!

After last year’s sudden FALL from GRACE after the GRANDMA SCHOOL fiasco, Mr Balloon must surely realise that it does not take a LOT for the Media to stop shining the golden rays – or even the golden Ray Lewises – of positive publicity on you and turn their attention to the fact that you are not all you crack yourself up to be.

Still, he can probably rely on Mr Frown doing something spectacularly stupid to distract everyone’s attention again.


Therefore, please may I finish with an APPEAL to Mr James to write a piece saying that Mr Balloon does not have to resign.

Thank you.

PS:

*Because you know, starting out by IGNORING the law – and the law says there should be ONE “deputy” and they will come from the London Assembly, not just people BoJo has, er, met – ignoring the law is BOUND to be a good way to start!